Saturday, October 13, 2012

Admittedly, I Don't Really Give A Shit

Have you ever considered the phrases "taking a shit", or "taking a dump"? How did we get around to thinking of faeces as something we 'take'? I mean, seriously... when I go into a toilet, I am definitely not planning on taking shit anywhere. In fact, I intend the opposite. I go to toilets to deliver shit, not take it.

The image is really disturbing. And we know it's disturbing, because we use the term "taking shit" when we speak of being abused by someone. In fact, we hope not to take any shit from anyone.

Nevertheless, we still go to the toilet to take a shit.

I think I'm going to start a campaign to undermine this bizarre bit of English. From now on, whenever anybody tells me they're about to "take a shit" or any variation thereof, I'm going to ask them what they're going to do with it, and where they plan to keep it once they've taken it. I may also ask them to make sure they don't take any of mine...