Friday, August 19, 2011


Today is the day of the Mau-mau's official sixth birthday party. She actually turned six some days ago, and received a plethora of presents from all over the place, as I mentioned. But for a six-year-old girl, the birthday thing isn't complete unless there's been a party. A particularly girly party.

And therefore, we are having a Mermaid Fairy Princess party this afternoon.

Oddly, a number of boys have been invited to this party, and at least one has accepted. His mum sounded relieved when I pointed out that according to Natalie, it would be all right if the lad dressed as a pirate. Personally, I think he should be a Mermaid Fairy Princess too, but I'm not sure six-year-old boys have enough of a sense of irony to appreciate the humour.

I'm sitting down right now in the post-breakfast zone, clearing my mind, thinking things through. It's been rainy as hell down here - some flooding across the north and east. (Not affecting us, mind you.) Today it's dim and grey and foggy. My hopes of throwing all the small ones outside for a sunny afternoon play on the stupidly oversized playground structure are looking slender. Ergo, I have to come up with a way to keep about eight very small, sugar-driven, birthday-frenzied kids from annihilating the interior of my house for about two hours this afternoon.

I'm thinking balloons. Fuckloads of balloons. Kids like balloons, and if I inflate a couple hundred, they'll be happy to run around shrieking and kicking clouds of balloons into the air, right? The cats will never forgive me, but who cares?

Meanwhile, I've also got to prepare a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and a cherry on top. Maybe a layer of whipped cream in the middle. Apparently, jelly is also desirable. And marshmallow cones.

There's also party favours and lollies and decor to think of. Yes. All that stuff.

Then there's my sanity. Have you seen it? I'm not sure where I put it down. I think I had it just a few days ago, briefly, but then the phone rang. And then the University told me my enrolment was up in the air 'cos they didn't have proof of my citizenship. Citizenship? Fuck! I've been a permanent resident of Oz since 1973, and a full citizen since 1991. I don't even know exactly where my stupid Citizenship Certificate is anymore. Luckily, I keep my passport in a handy location. Wish I could do the same with my sanity.

Fortunately, there's a carton of Boag's St George in the kitchen. I will undertake the Quest for Sanity through Booze after the Mermaid Fairy Princesses are all in bed. (Did I mention that at least two of them are sleeping over? I didn't, did I?)

Okay. Gotta go. Genghis is now coughing up a lung, and quite seriously, he's amplifying his already horrifying cough by putting a very long cardboard tube up to his mouth. So I can hear this weird, echoing, rattling, tearing, gurgling bark of a cough richocheting around the house. Natalie doesn't seem to like it either, by the way she's snarling at Genghis. I can understand that, though... the cardboard-tube Death Cough is probably the ugliest thing I've heard since I last mashed up Justin Bieber and Yakity Sax.

Sanity? Hellloooo?


  1. In this house, balloons combine nicely with markers. The Spawn likes to turn them in to...things. Not sure about a houseful of kids with markers though. Probably not good for your sanity. Good luck. My sanity should be back from hiking on Monday night.

  2. Hm. On Monday night my sanity should be back from hiking. That's better.

  3. Heheh Wifey and I had our sanity preserved today - the Little Bloke was invited to a girlie school friend's 7th birthday today, a Disco Party! Luckily her parents have a big house and thus could accomodate all the kids in her class discoing up a storm. There were balloons, disco lights/balls, party food consisting of a roughly 50/50 mix of sugar and food colouring, you know the drill. Luckily the lad is of an age now where we could drop him off and collect him two hours later. So wifey and I had a nice civilised breakfast and coffee down the road at a cafe. Now that's how to have a kids party - let someone else deal with it! (Yeah not an option with your own kids...)

  4. Okay, Bondi: if envy was a measurable energy source in the world of physics, you'd be a smoking cinder right about now.

    Sue: sanity often goes hiking. It comes back much less frequently than it goes out. Mondays may vary.

  5. Hmm yes. Still, I empathise with your angst and pain, although in my case the boy's parties tend to be a whirlwind of hard yakka for yours truly. With less mermaid fairy princesses. We just had a good day today!

  6. So, how'd the princess apocalypse go?

  7. Still standing. More in next post.