Thursday, November 18, 2010

Forsooth, Verily!

Lo, it hath come to pass that Jake, the Elder Son, hath discovered ancient Avengers comics, which depict the Mighty Thor. And in these venerable tomes, Thor doth discourse in a much bastardized form of Elizabethan English, full of "thee" and "thou" and "thy" and "verily, forsooth!"

Much smitten is young Jake with this ludicrous patois, and armed with an inflatable hammer of vile chartreuse vinyl, he doth wander the house crying 'Yea, verily!' and smiting all and sundry. And if the son shall speak with the rolling tones of the Thunder God, shall not the father arise and perform alike?

Thus it is that Flinthart the father and Flinthart the son now do berate one another in most excessively elegant language. Indeed, so furious our verbal strivings wax that Younger Son hath himself betrayed a kindred interest. Yet the Younger Son hath not yet the fullest understanding of this older tongue, and for him, 'most everything is 'thy'. Which is not meet, but certes, doth much entertain.

Natheless, Jake and I hath laid a wager slight betwixt our selves, in secret. We dispute the length of days his mother's sanity can withstand our present amusement. Jake holds that she will split asunder within three days, at best, while I maintain she hath easily the stamina for five, perhaps as many as seven.

We shall see!

7 comments:

  1. I'm afraid my sympathies like with the distaff side.

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  2. Breaking news:
    Scottsdale GP's husband found with inflatable hammer stuffed down mouth and throat. Fowle playe athumed

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  3. Hist! Mayhap I should suggest to thee and thine the joys of Fritz Lieber's 'Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser' series of stories? Ne'er a greater collection of archaic forsooths, betwixts and general fantastical faffery shall one find this side of Lankhmar.

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  4. Ahh, Bondi - thou hast the right of it indeed! Well met in Lankhmar, my friend. 'Tis a joy most rare to find another in these benighted times who knows the glory of those two rogues most splendid. By no great chance, the entirety of their adventures lie within my possession, and methinks 'twould be most fitting that Jake should find them sooner, rather than later.

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  5. Huzzah! It is meet that your fine striplings be brought unto the Eldritch reeds of the fabled storyteller and jongleur known afar as Fritz Leiber!

    Lesser version of such are also to be found in the manifold scribblings of Raymond E. Feist - but he isn't as wordy.

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