Friday, October 9, 2009

Northern Territory: It's A Special Kind Of Place

For those of you in far-off countries who occasionally look in on this blog for a bit of amusement, I offer this rather funny article.

It's funny on several levels. First, I think it's marvellous that the news-outlet should give so much space to a woman making a denial that she was committing oral sex on the driver of the ute she was in when it crashed. Seriously: they quote this woman at length, and apart from reducing "offensive" words to mere f***s and s****s and so forth, they let her speak in what appears to be the authentic vernacular.

And that's the second reason it's funny: her command of the good old Australian language. It's gorgeous. It's not laden with cliched Australianism. It's just blunt, and clear, and remarkably effective at conveying her feelings on the matter.

And those feelings are the final level of humour, for me. In her forthright approach and her choice of priorities here, her absolute candour is endearingly funny. This isn't a woman permitting herself to become any kind of victim, nor bewailing her situation. Nope. Read for yourself. She'd definitely want you to do so!


  1. Territorians are awesome. Can't pick a winner between this and the bloke who got bitten repeatedly by a king brown while trying to steal it for the tank in his local pub - whose mates kept him alert by pouring beer on him and punching him in the head. (I wish I could find a link for the original NT News article.)

  2. I remember that one, Doc. Both articles were pure win... but the snake-jockey was funny because he was a clueless near-Darwin-award-winner, and I actually kinda like this waitress and her approach to the situation.

    I also seem to recall that the snake guy got bitten repeatedly 'cos he stuck the snake in a bag on the back seat of his car, and then put his hand in later to see if it was still alive.

  3. Yes indeed! Her girls were hanging out for all of Humpty DOO!!!! BWAHAHAHA

  4. I'm guessing that the "northern territory" is like Austrailia's Kentucky?

  5. Wow ... just wow. If the HLDW ever smartens up and hightails it out the door I know where I'm gettin' the next Mrs. Rhino.

    Humpty Doo ... there is really a town named Humpty Doo? That is priceless.


  6. If you click into the original article that she is claiming defamed her, you get a choice selection of the following related articles:
    # Servo couple filmed having sex while filling up aka the "frisky bowser bonk" (
    # Swerving motorist caught 'in the act' with girlfriend
    # Driver filmed himself masturbating at 150km/h, court told
    # Trouser snake on a plane
    All linked back to the NT News. Awesome. I love this country.

  7. Heidi, I think we're talking more like West Virginia or Mississippi, with the isolation factor of Montana or Alaska.

    This is indeed awesome. Some points to make:

    Cigarette in hand: Check
    Beer bottle on coffee table: Check
    Manic Panic Fuscia hair color: Check
    Outdoor Wicker Patio living room: Check!!!!

  8. And I think the reality is this:

    "No, ossifer, I wasn't giving him head.

    I was giving him a handshandy, while he was sucking on my girls."

  9. And in her defense, I'm reasonably certain she did not have a mouthful of his business when they wrecked....there was no mention of an amputation amongst his injuries in the police report.