Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Marathon Coming

Here's a portrait of my weekend as it stands:

Friday afternoon -- immediately after school collect all children and drive hell-for-leather to Launceston. Boys have orchestra practice for an hour; use that hour (keeping the Mau-Mau out of the orchestra zone) to find a present for Wild Uncolonial Boy (see entry for Sunday.) Collect boys. Eat in town. Drive home ASAP (about forty minutes) to put tired and shirty children through the bedtime routine.

Saturday -- Natalie's on call. Prepare for local 4th of July party (produce epic quantities Flinthart Finest Potato Salad; ensure children are appropriately prepared and packed. ) Make preparations for Doctor Who party (see entry for Monday.) July 4th party is late afternoon/evening: stay until children become dysfunctional. Return home, put tired and shirty children through bedtime routine.

Sunday -- Natalie still on call. Prep children for Wild Uncolonial Boy's birthday party. (A family of recent Brit immigrants... lovely people. Their daughter has become a very effective and determined student of ju-jitsu, but their son, who is about to turn six, I think, is one of those super-energetic unstoppable little balls of excess. He's a great kid; just that little bit more over the top than it's feasible for parents to handle. Hence his nick - Wild Uncolonial Boy.) Party occurs in the mid-day-ish range, yay. That gives us time to get back home, so I can run through the dinner routine, make further preparation for the Doctor Who party (yes, see Monday) and try to catch up on various house chores.

Monday -- Elder Son's birthday party is today, with a Doctor Who theme. Elder Son loves his SF and Fantasy and Superherodom, but he has come to the sad realisation that most of his friends don't know what the pus he's talking about when he starts to enthuse about his favourites. Hence the Doctor Who thing: even if the kids don't know much about The Doctor, their parents surely will, and it won't be too difficult to cobble together some bits and pieces. I believe my sons want to be Cybermen... it will fall to me to organise outfits, of course. Not exactly sure when I'll do that. Probably Sunday afternoon, with silver spray paint and sheets of plastic cut into masks, and old ear-muffs that can be sprayed silver and later discarded... Anyway, the Doctor Who party runs for a few hours in the middle of the day, and once it's over

... well, if I'm not done with cooking and the rest of the shite, at least I'm not running from one party to the next.



Oh, fantastic. Natalie's furniture order arrives tomorrow. Three "middie" beds -- like bunk beds for kids, except it's top bunk only, and the underneath is full of cupboards and drawers, and shelves and desks. Um. Yes. They arrive as flatpacks. Not three, but multiple flatpacks per bed, because all the shelves and nonsense have to be independently assembled.

So. That's me and an Allen key developing a deep and meaningful relationship in between kids' parties this weekend.

Somebody shoot me.


  1. Good luck, Dirk. May the energy of the Wild Uncolonial Boy rub off on you to jolt your endeavors.

  2. Not that long ago you could have done a full BBC quality Dr Who party with little more than gaffer tape, bog-paper rolls and some silver spray with maybe a plunger or two on standby.

    The bar is a bit higher these days.

  3. Furry rugs or crazy paving make great props for 'let's trip the Daleks'

  4. Ah, but they can levitate now. They have learnt.

  5. 2X 3 sizes of Post tubes split lengthways, glued to tissue size box. Disposable paper suits in really small size. Silver spray. Caution overspray on children is worse than 2 pac.
    Just in case you wanted to add to the To Do list.
    Tassie is probably going to have a good supply of scarves. Better than Cairns.

    Is the crowd too "old & cool" for face paint? waterbased paint on moisturiser.
    Be pretty cool to have standby SFX for guests who didn't dress up.
    Dirk "You didn't get a chance, oh well, here, I'll paint on an eye and add a tail or would you prefer a third arm, I do a nice tentacle?"

  6. I read all that, and now I need a rest.

  7. Nat made me think of a stunningly impressive Xmas Dress Up I saw @ The Bobettes Kindi. A cone of chicken wire with a hole for the kids face, covered in plastic Xmas tree branches almost to the ground, bead strings, metalic baubles, an Angel on top and a battery op string of blinking lights. Simply awsome. Hours of inspired dad work.
    With the arms confined inside, negotiatiing stairs = Bad. Hysterically, laugh out loud Bad.

  8. Thanks, all... note the new addition on the end of the post!

  9. Stuff the new flatpacks bollocks off until after the weekend and do it while the kids are at school.

  10. I don't think I can get a gun license in time.

  11. I strongly suggest you go find a second Allen KEY, with a LONG shank if you do not happen to have what I am about to get you to make. Put key in VICE, cut into 3 pieces and put one in your CORDLESS DRILL!, unless you have hex key bits for it already. Saves a fuckload of time.

  12. Sounds way, way too much like hardwork.

    my recommendation just stay in bed and let it all go to hell without you. You deserve a rest.

  13. Yeah what Havock sez. As I have one of those little electric screwdriver thingies (it came with an elctric razor I was given last year), assembling of the dreaded Ikea bookshelves was soooo much easier. The supplied allen keys are semi-useless.

    yes I have kid's party season again too - one this Saturday, one next Saturday...thankfully the Little Bloke's party was early June so I am spared doing anything except minor child wrangling and photography (Wifey hands me the camera at every one of these things. She socialises and I am now Defacto Photographer for all these events...).

    Bloody easy by comparison to your weekend!

  14. Havock's on the money and may I add use a low clutch setting and tighten by hand?

  15. SEE....I...AM...A...FUCKING GOD!

  16. One of my happiest purchases was a set of Allen key drivers for a cordless drill.

  17. I'm gettin' an Allen key-driver this morning.

    Each and every one of those fucking bed arrangements turned up as SIX FUCKING FLATPACKS! The delivery driver was laughing like a drain as we piled eighteen fucknormous cardboard boxes on the back deck... He was a good soul, and I can't blame him for laughing. I'd have done the same thing. But... shit...

    So far, we're up two beds, one bookshelf and two chests of drawers. One more bed, two bookshelves and another chest of drawers to go. Of course, first I have to pull Elder Son's existing bed out of the boys' room...


  18. get som grog.....ya gunna need it..LOL. Better you than me gungadin