Friday, July 10, 2009

Domestic Observations:

Stuff I Cannot Teach My Wife To Do, Even Though She's Old Enough To Know Better
  • Rinse her breakfast cereal bowls so I don't have to chisel the organic concrete she calls 'muesli' out of them later
  • Stop abandoning her dressing gowns on top of the couch.
  • Oh, and when she wants to find her dressing gown later, to LOOK ON TOP OF THE COUCH WHERE IT'S ALWAYS LYING!
  • Take the time necessary to push the hi-tech super-groovy aeropress coffeemaker I got her all the way to the bottom and eject the nasty puck of coffee grounds, rather than leave the entire device sitting in the sink. Does coffee really taste that bad after an extra five seconds?
  • occasionally remove some of her arsenal of jumpers, cardigans and jackets from the hanging spaces in the bathroom because there's no room left for towels and kids's gear.
  • remember to look in the bathroom when she runs out of jumpers, cardigans and jackets.
Things My Wife Would Really Like The Kids To Learn
  • Hang up their clothes on the hanging spaces in the bathroom when they climb in the bath.
  • Not to abandon their pyjamas all over the lounge when they get dressed in the morning
  • Remember to look for various toys, pyjamas and books in the last place they were summarily abandoned before calling in a statewide aerial search
  • Put their used dishes on the sink, and maybe scrape them into the compost bucket
My Chances Of Subtly Pointing Out That Leading By Example Is A Great Way To Teach
  • Buckley's
  • None
  • Have you seen the state of my study?


  1. Nahhh... I'd have to PAY somebody for that.

  2. Hilarious, even if all too familiar to my own domestic situation.

  3. The Wife did some vaccuming the other day and accused me of having to reshelve 20 books from under the bed. I denied it of course, it was much more like thirty.

  4. I've got a bookshelf within arm's reach on my side of the bed. Saves such a lot of fuss.

  5. Jesus, MY husband TORMENTS me about the "washing your dishes off" thing. I feel for your old lady. hahaha.

  6. But when you're cute and charming you can get away with domestic foibles like that.

  7. It's like watching a window into my own life.

  8. I have methods that fix with 100% certainty. However, the people mostly go away and don't come back. So I will not dispense that advice.

  9. Crikey - your missus and mine must be related on some molecular level...a few tips for my Wifey:
    Rinse stuff in the sink.
    Put your keys in the same place every day so you can find them!
    Hang your clothes up!

    Gaaah you know what I mean.

  10. Heidi: I'm not stupid. I've long since worked out that the 'nagging' approach is pointless. It wastes my time and pisses me off as well as irritating my wife. I've progressed to the 'ignore this shit' phase, and washed my hands of any responsibility for coffee-crap or bath-robe, and I tend to leave concreted cereal bowls beside the sink against Natalie's turn at washing up.

    It's just easier. People learn what they're ready to learn, when it becomes important. But I do find myself giggling when Natalie expresses her frustration of the kids' inability to acquire properly civilised habits...

  11. Ha! nice to know i'm not the only husband to suffer such annoying wifely habits.

    Well said brother dirk

  12. I have to pick up clothes on the floor next to the bed that Tom leaves there every night. And put his water glass in the dishwasher. And after I just mop the floor he tracks in horse dung. Crap, literally. I hang up my clothes but he lays his on the couch. So, I'm thinking it's not just wives but male counter parts who have these annoying habits. Of course, I have none, except yeah, can never find phone, keys, glasses and putting them in the same place is not an option. I come in, drop them down as I have bags of groceries or somesuch or they fall down into the couch or decide a game of hide and seek would be fun all on their own. And i don't put tops back on things sometimes pills fall out of bottles or something tips and spills all over the fridge, but I clean it up myself.

    Why are these things so very annoying in partners?

  13. Because we've trained ourselves not to do them, and it seems a simple thing. I have, for example, trained myself to put wallet, keys and mobile phone in one very specific location because I got f__King tired of never being able to find the bastards. Ergo, it seems a simple solution to me!

    Natalie gets cranky about shoes left off the rack near the door. Me? I don't care. And so it's hard to train myself to be interested in that one...

  14. some things bother some people and other things bother other people and I guess we just learn to live with that one, eh?

    Love you, Dirk.

  15. FH - I have seen your study and it was truly terrifying...