tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post386388106959541087..comments2023-09-15T02:40:58.916-07:00Comments on Move Along. Nothing To See Here.: What Happened To Parenting?Flintharthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-82607984283957607692012-05-18T05:30:58.557-07:002012-05-18T05:30:58.557-07:00Xmastide? Splendid! Looking forward to it.
The bo...Xmastide? Splendid! Looking forward to it.<br /><br />The books have their place, yep. But the enquiring mind is better, I reckon. Of course, at the baby end of the game they're probably more useful. Babies are little bundles of stimulus/response stuff, and it's not hard to write effectively on that. <br /><br />Mind you... you are singing to the little critter, right?Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-21308439967532243962012-05-16T17:36:44.141-07:002012-05-16T17:36:44.141-07:00Great post Flinty, i love the parenting ones as I ...Great post Flinty, i love the parenting ones as I can mine them for content. <br />Don't be too down on books though, as long as you have an enquiring mind and don't take them as gospel, at this stage of the parenting trip they have been pretty useful.<br /><br />Next time i come to Tassie (this xmas hopefully) i am going to make sure i am fit enough to survive the trampoline!beesohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11876219112305527188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-81359156549101686932012-05-15T01:22:43.067-07:002012-05-15T01:22:43.067-07:00Good to hear. It's always a worry - no matter ...Good to hear. It's always a worry - no matter how well things seem to be going, I'm always wondering whether or not it could have been done better somehow... whether or not I got it right, basically.<br /><br />Figure it's the same for everyone. But yeah - must be good to hear the audience come back in support.Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08862235828346393495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-33179975776491829092012-05-15T01:20:39.904-07:002012-05-15T01:20:39.904-07:00...ouch.
I hope things come good for you. And yo......ouch. <br /><br />I hope things come good for you. And you've given me something to think about.Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08862235828346393495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-73856097381416946912012-05-14T05:59:53.881-07:002012-05-14T05:59:53.881-07:00Didn't have that old "playing Mum and dad...Didn't have that old "playing Mum and dad off against each other" situation, though the Brat occasionally threatened to tell on me to his Nanna. <br /><br />A recurring theme in his younger and the adolescent years, was the saying "Street Angel, Home Devil." I expected a certain standard in public, and feedback over the years indicated that expectations were consistently met and exceeded. GOD that made me proud! Because no matter the dramas at home I still KNEW that he had learned the values and mores I strove to teach him. I was proud of both of us actually.<br /><br />Unfortunately it's possible that I took those values for granted just a bit. My son no longer speaks to me, but I still get feedback that he just such a nice young man, and eventually, he will come back to me.Mayhemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07743732421663633743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-24177796016792293452012-05-14T01:48:07.616-07:002012-05-14T01:48:07.616-07:00Thanks! Pity you are so far from me, it would be g...Thanks! Pity you are so far from me, it would be good to meet properly some day.<br /><br />Thing is, reading many of your stories I have concluded that you and your good lady wife parallel my wife and I in our outlook on parenting. Sure, I'm human and make errors at times...and my wife worries that we may be too hard on the boy at times. But he is well loved, and he knows it! And we take care to explain these things to him.<br /><br />Talking with my older sons, I explained to them how due to separation and distance I have not been able to be there day to day...but I try to proviide for them an example of what a Good Man is. Especially as they live with their mum...and she hasn't been very stable with boyfriends over the years. So I try to be a good role model. And my sons tell me I'm doing a pretty good job of that. I can't describe the feeling I had when I was told that...positive affirmation from my audience was just brilliant!Bondiboy66https://www.blogger.com/profile/03526870939619033169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-56906266690117759902012-05-13T22:17:34.697-07:002012-05-13T22:17:34.697-07:00I suspect, for you, there will come a time when ca...I suspect, for you, there will come a time when calculating effort in short and long terms will become less and less important. There came a time, for me, when all that mattered - and all that still matters - is having the opportunity to do what it takes to get the job done. And the job will never really be done. Never.<br /><br />First we protect. Then we teach. Then we advise, slowly less and less, but we wait nevertheless, understanding Milton's blindness and accepting that they also serve who sit and wait - for grandchildren to infect with the words of dead poets and natural philosophers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-40298867143652754862012-05-13T19:58:52.350-07:002012-05-13T19:58:52.350-07:00Nah, neither of her parents are misanthropists. A...Nah, neither of her parents are misanthropists. And her maternal grandmother never expressed distaste for the majority of the human race. Nope. Never. Well, maybe a little.<br /><br />And yes, I agree that people are looking for answers to the whole parenting question. But my feeling is that they tend to take the books too much to heart. I've read some darned fine advice in books. Usually one one bit from any given book, but I use common sense to pick and choose. Best book I ever read on parenting my particular child was filled with awful advice. But it did give me the sense that I hadn't totally fucked up. Gotta say that was a very important thing at that particular juncture too. But common sense dictated that I just take that and go on with things from there. And a bit here and a bit there--books for me have been like aunties, whose advice you take with a grain of salt.<br /><br />Sane-ish though may be a while. Gotta define your terms there. Or do you just mean consistent? That seems to usually be the definition of cultural sanity when you're in the midst of things.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10574314121763385074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-81866877566455722672012-05-13T18:54:52.462-07:002012-05-13T18:54:52.462-07:00Hmm. Y'don't suppose there's a misanth...Hmm. Y'don't suppose there's a misanthropy gene kicking around the bloodlines there, do you? Just wondering.<br /><br />I know what you mean about the books. I've seen a few people trying to work from books. And I'm not impressed, either with the books, or the outcomes. <br /><br />But that proliferation of books just underscores my point. The Great Upheaval ripped up all the old maps. The Traditional Nuclear Family got shredded - and in many ways, that wasn't a bad thing at all. But here we are, and people are having children, and desperately looking around for something that will help them make sense of the whole thing.<br /><br />Makes me wonder how many generations it will be until things are... sane-ish.Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-1253203238379182142012-05-13T18:51:54.692-07:002012-05-13T18:51:54.692-07:00I don't know either, Paul. And I truly do unde...I don't know either, Paul. And I truly do understand your 'act', and the transformation to which you refer, as only another transformed actor can understand. <br /><br />My entire being instinctively rebels against some of what I see out there. I made the point that I believe the road I've chosen is easier in the long run, and I've accepted that on the surface, other choices can seem easier in the short term - but the truth is that even with that 'easier in the short term' in mind, I can't fathom those choices. I can't see the sense in them, and there's no way I could do that to my kids.Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-85546558608405029042012-05-13T18:48:31.433-07:002012-05-13T18:48:31.433-07:00Bondi: though we've not met FTF, you're on...Bondi: though we've not met FTF, you're on the list of people to whom I'm grateful. Knowing I'm not alone, and getting the odd word of encouragement - it makes some of this shit easier, and I'm grateful. Thanks.Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-88579854168205429162012-05-13T17:59:28.281-07:002012-05-13T17:59:28.281-07:00What happened to parenting? Too many blasted book...What happened to parenting? Too many blasted books and too little common sense. At least, that seems to be the case amongst some of the people I know. In the meantime, we'll do the best we can in our own way and go on raising our little misanthropist (I swear she was born that way).Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10574314121763385074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-51672173379107186772012-05-13T15:12:27.639-07:002012-05-13T15:12:27.639-07:00The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
R...The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.<br /><br />Raising my son was the most difficult but rewarding job I ever had. It transformed me in ways I did not anticipate. I realized, to my great shock, that what I did and said mattered and what my son saw me do and heard me say would shape the man, husband, father and citizen he would become. So I became a better man for the sole purpose of providing my son with a chance of becoming a better man, husband, father and citizen than me. At first it was an act. Truly. But now my son shows clear signs of becoming a good and honest man who will one day become a good husband and father - and I am a better man, husband, father and citizen than I was before my son was born.<br /><br />My deepest wish is that this can happen to all parents, that the love for their children transforms their lives for the better. But I see parents who are terrible role models and are mistreating their children by not really paying attention to them or caring who they become, and I don't know why this is so.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-12682822940572463462012-05-13T01:59:58.988-07:002012-05-13T01:59:58.988-07:00You give a good example sir. My wife and I are att...You give a good example sir. My wife and I are attempting a similar approach with our little bloke. United front, the boy can't pull out of certain things etc.. I missed a lot of that with my older three sons, but they do know about how things run in my prescence at least. And for the most part are turning out well. Why weren't we issued an instruction manual at the hospital dammit!Bondiboy66https://www.blogger.com/profile/03526870939619033169noreply@blogger.com