tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post897503757501617302..comments2023-09-15T02:40:58.916-07:00Comments on Move Along. Nothing To See Here.: "Princess" SyndromeFlintharthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-24587994476963540712009-08-01T19:35:16.086-07:002009-08-01T19:35:16.086-07:00N-Bob: my judgemental self stands mildly sheepish....N-Bob: my judgemental self stands mildly sheepish. It is, apparently, possible that under certain rare circumstances one may resort to the Arches. <br /><br />And Hughesy - nice one!Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-86355922560211327292009-07-30T23:09:29.612-07:002009-07-30T23:09:29.612-07:00Real princesses don't need pink dresses to be ...Real princesses don't need pink dresses to be beautiful.<br /><br />A really beautiful princess can fight off her own dragons, save their own life and get up in time to get to the bus on time without any need for kisses from princes.<br /><br />Real princesses ROCK and kick arse. <br /><br />Here is a song for Mau Mau<br /><br />The Pony Princess<br /><br />The fall is waiting after the pride.<br />See the fine lady out for a ride<br />humming a fairytale fantasy song<br />the pony princess gallops along.<br /><br />A fever's burning, but her hands are cool.<br />She waits in hope but feels a fool<br />as she tells herself it will be ok,<br />though night is falling on another lonely day<br /><br />Find your missing crystal slipper and buy a brand new dress<br />step into the folds of its sympathetic caress.<br />Find another place to hang your mirror ball,<br />'cause princes don't come looking for princesses any more.<br /><br />Her heart is breaking but her eyes are dry<br />her voice is shaking every time she lies<br />as tells herself it will be alright<br />though dawn is breaking on another lonely night.<br /><br />Time has come for waking, the wicked witch has died,<br />the spindle is still spinning and the spots of blood have dried.<br />Smash the casket glass and spit the poisoned core,<br />'cause princes don't come looking for princesses any more.<br /><br />The grain is counted and the golden fleece is plucked.<br />After all the trials of Venus, you find your life's still fucked.<br />It's never going to be the way it was before<br />'cause princes don't come looking for princesses any morehughesyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09952271152178706348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-29533501141709989202009-07-30T19:57:43.597-07:002009-07-30T19:57:43.597-07:00It's amazing what kids will absorb, even witho...It's amazing what kids will absorb, even without the influence of TV. My littlest bloke doesn't see much TV, instead we read with him, play about a lot, all that good stuff. But give him anything remotely gun shaped and he shooting up the joint like a methed up gangbanger! And without prompting he grew to like cars, trucks, all that good 'boy' stuff. And he picks up heaps of pop culture from kindy - Star Wars, various cartoon shows etc. (funnily enough last rainy weekend I tried showing him the original Star Wars. We lasted up to the cantina scene when he asked to turn it off as he was 'scared' - didn't like seeing the 'goodies' hurt and found the whole aura of the show frightening. Still loves his Star Wars toys though).<br /><br />Another boy at son's kindy has some real issues though. Mother is a single Mum who actively encourages son to dislike his estranged father, she is a borderline alcoholic, and the kid is an insufferable shit. He bullies smaller kids, thinks 'sharing' means 'give me that now', could tantrum for Australia, I could go on. This kid loves dressing up as a policeman and threatening other kids with gaol, shooting, beating or just tickets. Yet he also loves wearing dresses, pretending to be pregnant, dressing up as a fairy....I tell you this kid if he doesn't get some help is going to be the next 'Buffalo Bill' ala 'Silence of the Lambs'...Bondiboy66https://www.blogger.com/profile/03526870939619033169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-29150859402272619252009-07-30T18:44:15.922-07:002009-07-30T18:44:15.922-07:00"From Eh. Nup. - to -'culture' of eat..."From Eh. Nup. - to -'culture' of eating."<br />Aye Cap'n I agree, but my poorly made & entirely off topic point was that in my efforts to be a better man I resist the temptation to Tut tut other parents for doing what I wouldn't - without knowing the backstory.<br /><br />A recent example.<br />At 19:00 one night I had an ill Bobette on my hands, her temperature spiked I rang the Qld Health advice line. They said "take her in" so off to Nambour Base Hospital we went. In the rush out the door I did grab her waterbottle, dressing gown, ugg boots & a woobie (rug) for her & books for both of us - but not any food. A strategic error - but she was getting "floppy," I was worried & she couldn't have been less interested in eating.<br /><br />As with all Public Hospitals if you are not gushing aterial blood they put you on the glacial waiting list. We finally saw a Dr. @ 23:00 (a very kind & obviously competant South Asian chap) who poked, prodded & quizzed her. He was satisfied that her head wasn't about to come off or anything so he sent us home.<br /><br />"I'm hungry" she says. <br />At least 30 mins to home + 15 or 20 mins at home to put something edible in front of her, no other options in Nambour at that time of night - so at 23:30 I'm buying my coeliac daughter polystyrene McCrap for dinner.<br />Without the backstory I was just another deadbeat dad mal-nourishing his daughter.<br />With the backstory I was just doing what I could with the resources available at the time. I would have much preferred to have supplied her with fruit, food or even her favourite sushi - but it was just not an option.<br />As a result of this & similar experiences I try to withhold my condemnation of parents (esp single parents) who do what they think to be the best they can. <br />I can't argue that the decisions some parents make are frequently poor, sometimes tragic & occasionally criminal - but I do try to give them the benefit of the doubt.NowhereBobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02519025059441170438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-84315541006879209182009-07-30T17:40:42.603-07:002009-07-30T17:40:42.603-07:00Dirk, there's too much stuff out there for the...Dirk, there's too much stuff out there for the human sponge that is a young child, not to pick up on. Whether it be a chance advert on the TV at the cinema, magazines in waiting rooms, Chance comments by other kids parents etc etc.<br /><br />But then a couple of eyars she may become a real tom-boy. You just don't know and that is probably one of the many many challenges of being a aprent..or so i'm told.<br /><br />JB LMFAO!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-31033547549034528462009-07-30T15:07:59.724-07:002009-07-30T15:07:59.724-07:00For what it's worth, folks: I'm turning th...For what it's worth, folks: I'm turning the 'Princess' meme on its arse, and using it in what I hope will be a positive way. The "princesses don't cry" was a start. Princesses, from this point, aren't just "beautiful". Princesses eat with forks, not their fingers. Princesses don't scream at their brothers. Princesses brush their teeth when they're asked, because they have nice, clean teeth. Princesses eat their dinner properly...<br /><br />...she can be all the Princess she wants. But it's going to be MY version of a princess: smart, tough, responsible and helpful. <br /><br />The 'beautiful' thing is another matter altogether. I'm still horrified by her tears, and the clear connection in her mind between 'wearing the pink dress' and 'being beautiful' -- and worse, that 'beautiful' is some kind of powerful and infinitely desirable ideal that comes from external trappings, not from within.<br /><br />Really not yet sure how to combat that, though I'll be changing the way I use the word, and encouraging Natalie to do likewise.<br /><br />Thanks for the thoughtful comments, all... even you, Birmo, ya bastard!Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-26507618853414088022009-07-30T10:24:50.389-07:002009-07-30T10:24:50.389-07:00Both of my girls went through the Princess stage a...Both of my girls went through the Princess stage as well, and the younger one is still kind of there. Both grew up constantly asking for approval of how they look as well, even though it's not something we fostered at home. When they're clean, we tell them they look very nice. When covered in mud, they get a semi-serious "you look disgusting." Unless the mud is from a hard-fought soccer game, in which case they are applauded for their dirty kit.<br /><br />I only have daughters, but I've noticed boys can take ANYTHING and turn it into a gun. Hand them a Barbie and they will bend her into an L-shape, grab the legs, aim the head at an enemy, and make PEW PEW PEW noises. Girls will take a GI Joe and make him an unwilling groom in the Wedding from Hell.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01544216856514863432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-46489902590294502612009-07-30T04:37:37.703-07:002009-07-30T04:37:37.703-07:00Hoping it will be the same for you...but my girl w...Hoping it will be the same for you...but my girl went thru a princess/fairy stage and I can assure you it's entirely possible for them to end up on the edge of butch...Natalia the Russian Spyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14212332023055043476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-49319807292176106632009-07-30T03:55:47.603-07:002009-07-30T03:55:47.603-07:00This is one of the most instructive, funny and sca...This is one of the most instructive, funny and scary things i've ever readbeesohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11876219112305527188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-48944928560657546802009-07-30T03:52:09.205-07:002009-07-30T03:52:09.205-07:00LOL! She's got you by the shorties. But who co...LOL! She's got you by the shorties. But who could help it? She's too frickin' cute.Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614326327687523688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-37106140644816709732009-07-30T03:37:26.722-07:002009-07-30T03:37:26.722-07:00Hahahahahaha.
Welcome to hell.
Your table is ove...Hahahahahaha.<br /><br />Welcome to hell.<br /><br />Your table is over this way, sir.Birmohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04881773501573409032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-17150125465424578782009-07-30T03:09:09.039-07:002009-07-30T03:09:09.039-07:00(posted for Jane)
Hey Dirk
I also have the same ...(posted for Jane)<br /><br />Hey Dirk<br /><br />I also have the same dislike of princess fairy mentality (and the boy equiv of truck/gun/Spiderman obsessions). Enjoying elements of it, no problem. But becoming the defining paradigm through which their little eyes see the world drives me freaking nuts.<br /><br />A few things occur to me, maybe to you as well. Youngest, two elder brothers and wearing their clothes, playing with their toys. She isn't a boy and knows that. So how to define yourself? What's something that's not boy (or daddy), that boys aren't interested in, that she can call her own? Easy - pink princess fairy unicorns.<br /><br />As for where the hell did "..but I want to beautiful come from"? Don't underestimate the power of images, even fleeting in ads on TV, pretty dresses in commercials, even "isn't she pretty?" comments made in her hearing. And when someone has an older sister and you see some of the pretty girly stuff they have, well, it can be defining (personally, that's how I found out about Barbies in childhood devoid of commercial TV!). Also, comments by other kids who may already be on the pink/appearances bandwagon can have enormous impact on shaping what's important in a little head (you know, the "I'm the pretty princess 'and you have to do as I say cause I have a twirly tiara and you don't" kind of thing).<br /><br />How to fix it? I have no idea. Let some of it happen? Stop the worst of it? Encourage a healthy interested in botany? No idea. Am too making it up as I go along.<br /><br />This article is interesting, not really happy reading but it kind of explains a few things. Also points to issues likely to be in all our futures as parents of young girls. Sigh.<br /><br />http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/happiness-a-casualty-of-meeting-demands-of-me-myself-and-i-20090727-dyp4.html?page=-1Jyggdrasilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13103800860401813367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-56058784221327405262009-07-30T02:47:33.368-07:002009-07-30T02:47:33.368-07:00Of course it's nothing you've fostered Dir...Of course it's nothing you've fostered Dirk. The female psyche is hard-wireded and young children with no inhibitions will express what is in every woman's heart...a desire to be the divine creature that men seek. (thought they do get better at hiding it with age)Natalia the Russian Spyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14212332023055043476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-6621329877051763532009-07-30T02:36:06.600-07:002009-07-30T02:36:06.600-07:00Couple of things i've observed.
We tend to be...Couple of things i've observed. <br />We tend to be slightly more rough and tumble with baby boys, making them punch themselves in the face for example, girls we may still do that (cause its fun) but we are gentler. <br />When we see a boy toddler in his church finery we say "handsome" with a girl we say "pretty or beautiful" which are english versions of masculine and feminine words. Not intentional and certainly neither diminishes the compliment payed, but it's done. And females love compliments, being "beautiful" gets her more attention (which leads into the psychological manipulation thing to get her way as opposed to physical for boys).<br />But baby boys tend to be harder to toilet train, they seem to not mind sitting in a nappy filled with filth, Girls seem to take to it easier (i have a million much younger cousins), so maybe the clean and "pretty" thing is hard wired into girls (dogs and cats seem to be the same way with house training - cats in particular).<br />Several years ago a study was done with groups of boys and girls using teapots with spiky nails everywhere and toy guns with lace and frills, The boys used the teapots, the girls used the guns so perhaps females in general like softer prettier things (couldn't find the study).<br />I work with a female binder (female binders don't tend to exist outside of myth and legend). She drinks and swears with the boys,is technically unsurpassed and is at the top of a rough game. She is one of the boys. She is also den mother to the whole company. 25 years in a boys club has not killed her maternal instinct.<br />I guess what i'm saying is i think that certain aspects of gender are social constructs and certain aspects are instinctual.uamadahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10584719007745691885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-5584607146493030422009-07-30T02:08:54.698-07:002009-07-30T02:08:54.698-07:00My eldest (2 1/2) went straight for toy cars and t...My eldest (2 1/2) went straight for toy cars and trucks the moment he had a choice. Give him a doll, as they did at childcare, and he'd look at it quizzically, then stick it in the back of the truck and push that around. His younger bro is four weeks old tomorrow so that story's yet to be told, but I do think the genders have certain predispositions towards different behaviours in play and certainly different psychologies when interacting with others. The pretty fairy princess thing also appears to be relatively spontaneous in that it needs very little encouragement to nucleate. I know my boss and his wife, whose eldest is a 5 yr old girl, are anything BUT pretty princess parents, but that's how the kid's turned out. Whether it's other kids at childcare, or grandparental influence, or TV and movies, or whatever, I don't really know.Dr Yobbohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10032085614743539793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-65479256534014392852009-07-30T00:33:14.596-07:002009-07-30T00:33:14.596-07:00Eh. Nup. I'm still gonna be judgemental about ...Eh. Nup. I'm still gonna be judgemental about the feeding habits. If you haven't got the sense not to bulk-breakfast your youngsters at a fast food joint, breeding wasn't your best idea in the first place. I know Mickey Dee has tried to update its food range, but its core business is still nutritionally horrible - and they aim to make their clientele part of a 'culture' of eating. <br /><br />The best way to dodge that bullet is not to get your kids involved until they're old enough and educated enough to make smart decisions for themselves -- and teach 'em good eating habits from day one.Flintharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456024642528783549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2485469691062620401.post-81146858393717152962009-07-29T23:39:25.516-07:002009-07-29T23:39:25.516-07:00Top shelf thinks Cap'n, thanks again.
The Bob...Top shelf thinks Cap'n, thanks again.<br /><br />The Bobette was drowned in Fairy literature, Fairy posters, Fairy wings, Fairy dresses et al from an early age from well meaning & childless aunts & uncles. So it was little suprise that she developed a play time fairy identity. As for what is beautiful - I think it may be at the chromasome level.<br />I still think that many parents make it hard for themselves by giving in to behaviours like tantrums. Kids are pretty smart & if behaviour X got what the child wanted last time...<br />That said, I have recently become a lot less jugemental of other parents coping strategies. I used to tut-tut when I saw a four year old with a can of fizzy drink or a dad buying B'fast for a car full of kids at the Golden Arches - but these days I understand that without the backstory I can't judge.NowhereBobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02519025059441170438noreply@blogger.com